Dear Renee (Love Mechanics),

I'm a 27-year-old male who's currently single. I have a friend of mine who is about 26 years old. We've known each other for about five years now and have become great friends. Back when we first met, I wasn't interested in dating her. I wanted to take things slow and build up the relationship.

Throughout the five years we've known each other, we have come to understand each other better. We talk about a lot of things like jobs and what's going on in our lives. We can get together to have fun, but sometimes we can share silence together. I get the feeling that things with her relationships aren't always the best, but she never reveals any of it to me. So I don't push it when it comes to talking about that aspect of her life.

After five years, I feel I've become a vastly different person and am ready to take this relationship further. She's been out of a relationship for about two and a half months now. What do you think about this situation? How do I approach her with the news that this long-time friend of hers wants to date her?

Need Advice in California

Dear "Need Advice in California,"

There is no confusion when you ask direct questions! Be brave! What do you have to lose? Nothing! Being good friends with someone is a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.

After five years you have grown comfortable and closer, yet that doesn't necessarily mean that she may be on the same page, since she just got out of a relationship. She may just be enjoying your company as her "buddy" and the silences and growth you share are similar to any other friendship.

She surely feels free to be herself, to express, to be open with you. Now comes the honesty. Say something like: "I was thinking that since we have been so close for so many years, maybe you would be open to exploring this friendship on a different level?" Ask her to be honest and that you'll be fine either way. She may be shocked! Tell her your thoughts and then you will discover whether or not she is on the same wavelength.

I know many couples that opened up to a "best friend" and are the happiest couples I know. If you are that close it won't ruin anything; just open the door for you to "tell it like it is" and let the chips fall where they may! If it is meant to be it will be. At least you can rest easier and move forward with other women if she isn't interested. Sometimes your best friend can turn into the real thing with open communication. Just ask!

Renee

If you have a burning love or dating question or dilemma please email me at AskRenee@lovemechanics.com. I will do my best to help! Need a Dating Makeover or personal dating consulting call NOW at 310-827-1100! I can help you win in the game of Love!

© 2008 All contents of these articles are the sole property of Rapid Dating LLC and cannot be duplicated or copied without permission of the author.

Back to Articles List

Back to Top . . .