Dear Renee (Love Mechanic),

I'm a good-looking, 21-year-old guy who's a freshman in college. That said, here is my problem: I'm a little shy. That's not to say that I look at the ground when I walk around and avoid talking to people... I'm actually very outgoing, I just don't have confidence in my conversation-starting skills when it comes to women.

I can look into a pretty woman's eyes and flash her a nice smile, but when she smiles back, I become incredibly nervous. Butterflies swarm in my stomach and my face turns beet red, but I don't know why! At that point, I just resort to what I call "eye tag" and never get anything accomplished. That's when women get bored and turn away. Any suggestions?

Sincerely,
Jim

Dear Jim,

This is a very common occurrence among men in the singles scene. What you need to do is change the way you look at approaching women. Turn it into a game of intrigue and let go of all expectations or desired outcomes.

You need to remind yourself how valuable you are. You don't want to end up with an inner monologue that creates body language that makes you seem insecure.

You need to modify that internal mechanism that awakens the fear within you. After all, what's the worst that can happen? She'll refuse your advances? Big deal.

And considering it sounds like women respond well to you, there's no reason for you to be afraid of how they'll react. It's time for you to take risks; if you can do it on the field or in your academic life, you can sure as hell can do it in the dating game.

Renee

If you have a burning love or dating question or dilemma please email me at AskRenee@lovemechanics.com. I will do my best to help! Need a Dating Makeover or personal dating consulting call NOW at 310-827-1100! I can help you win in the game of Love!

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