Dear Renee (Love Mechanic),
I have been on and off with the same man for over six years.  I love him, but deep down I know he isn’t the man for me for the rest of my life.  We have different needs, and I am not happy.  It has been difficult to let go since we are so attached, but I am still miserable.  We tried living together for a year and I moved out and bought my own place. We still see each other every other week and my friends all say I am crazy since this relationship is going nowhere.  Now that I am not living with him, I have had many other men pursuing me.  I try to date, but I feel guilty and I can't let any other man close to me.  Half of me wants to be free, and the other part is afraid to let him go for fear of being alone.  I don’t want to hurt him if I really start opening up to go out with other men, but I know it is time to move on.  It’s hard to know what to do, but I do know that he isn’t the right partner forever.  How can I let go and move on without hurting him, and let go of my fears?  I  need HELP .

Dear “Want to Let Go”,
 I know it is hard to let go but you are like a person who is separated from a marriage...in STUCK place that does not let you live your life with passion. You want to be free but you are NOT!  I have been there and done that and wasted years of my life hoping for a shift to happen...but SIX YEARS! Girl...get some support and just let go!  In all of the years of my work with singles, this MISTAKE is the one that keeps most people stuck and does not allow you to achieve your goals.  Think about how much frustration it has caused you to stay?  How many years have gone by that you might have been able to meet someone else that rocks your world? Although you have history, it sounds like you are clear that this relationship does not fulfill your goals in love.  Why do accept less than what you really want for yourself my friend? 
First of all you need to:

1. Trust and listen to your soul telling you to move on.  
2. Be grateful for the love you shared and communicate the total truth to this man so he knows what is happening and move on. 
3. Don't start dating other men unless you do not have what I call a "Passenger remaining in your vehicle." You can't start out new relationships with dishonesty and expect to meet anyone, since they eventually will discover you still are seeing your "sort of "boyfriend.
4. Evaluate your heart and be true to your values and goals for yourself.  (if you’re not sure call me for a session) 
5. Trust and have faith in yourself that once you are free, you’ll have a clean space to explore and attract a person that is more compatible with you.
6. Get clear on what qualities you want in a mate and be living those qualities now—examples: open, communicative, romantic, joyful, honesty etc. 
7. Create support to get you through the times when you would have been with him.  Realize once the space is clear you can be assured new experiences will come your way! 

The fear of getting back out there and being on your own  may seem bigger than being unhappy with a person that you are comfortable with, but unless you go forward with a clean slate you'll be writing to me in 3 more years with the same story and still feeling crappy. There are so many great people to meet so Trust in yourself and forge ahead. I am here with my online SECRETS into The Minds of Men seminars, events, personal consultations, coaching and heart healing sessions to assist you on your path. Call me I can help!

Send in your love and dating questions to Renee@Lovemechanics.com. and I will do my best to respond! Need some personal coaching & motivation to liven up your social life or a complete makeover? Call me at 310-827-1100 to set up an appointment.

Renee

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