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Dear Renee (The Love Mechanic)
I am an attractive, successful 55 year-old male, father of an 11 year-old boy, recently divorced (16 months) and just now back in the dating scene after a 13-year marriage. I recently joined Great Expectations, figuring the would provide a good “filter” and offer a less burdensome process of meeting appropriate women.
Two weeks ago, I was selected by an attractive, 48 year-old widow who seemed, on the surface, compatible in several ways. I called the next day, we had a nice phone conversation and I met her for dinner at Las Brisas in Laguna Beach the following Wednesday evening. We enjoyed each other’s company and I think we were both acutely aware of the “buying signs” we were sending as the evening progressed. A few days later, I asked her out for the coming Saturday afternoon, to go to a museum and to dinner afterwards, to which she readily agreed.
I was very encouraged and was very much looking forward to our second meeting. This had some potential, I thought. I started telling myself to take my time, as I have had a tendency in the past to get emotionally involved, too quickly.
The next day, I was informed that my son’s baseball team made the playoffs and I realized the afternoon game would conflict with our date. I called her immediately, explained the situation, apologized and asked to reschedule. She suggested that we move the date up to Friday night and that she would call me that evening to confirm. When I didn’t hear from her, I left a message, suggesting that I may have misunderstood who would call whom (even though I knew she was supposed to), asked for her home address so I could pick her up that Friday evening.
Now comes the weird part…
She has not returned any of my calls and we have not spoken since, in spite of my leaving several messages on both her cell and work phones. Last Wednesday, I called her one last time and resolved to write her off if she didn’t respond. Needless to say, she didn’t… and she’s now history.
I’m left here wondering… what on earth happened ??? Did I do (or say) something wrong? I was blindsided by her (non) response and am at a tota loss to explain it.
I’m feeling that if this what dating is like now, maybe I should just stay single. I’m really lonely and would love to have a companion, but right now, I just don’t have a deep reservoir of emotional energy for this kind of behavior… it’s just not worth the effort.
Can you help me to understand this? Any suggestions for what I should do next would be appreciated.
Signed,
Dazed & Confused in Irvine
Dear Dazed & Confused in Irvine,
Move on! She is more than likely dating a few people and perhaps got put off by the late cancel …You did NOTHING wrong, but let it go and do not call again. You will seem like a super needy person. After one date (although her not calling back is rude) she does not owe you any big explanation…Her actions are your answer! She is over it.
She obviously has other prospects since she is in a dating service and got a better offer …and so you need to keep hunting and don’t take it so hard. Don’t let one woman get you down…play the game and learn the new rules. I do not know how old you are but the dating game has shifted gears since you were out in the market.
Suggestions:
*Check out my MEN’S CLASS “Smart Man’s Guide to Dating, Attracting and Understanding Women” and learn more in one night than you will in the dating field.
*My book would help also…LOVE MECHANICS…Power Tools to Build Successful Relationships with Women! I’ve got the tools but only you can do the work.
* Get a makeover.
I have been working with Men for over 12 years. I perform magical makeovers and help men get that winning edge)
Try other sources like Rapid dating to brush up meeting people fast…..
Hire a dating coach to decipher if you are sending funky signalsI. think you are being to needy since you are fresh in the game again. You need some support as not to get discouraged.
Dating is like sports you have got to brush up and practice skills ….you are a bit rusty. There are all types of people and different phases singles experience out there and you need some insight to wake you up! believe me, after facilitating thousands of singles events, seminars and consulting people, men need to realize there are thousands of women available for them to explore and it takes practice to learn how not to feel rejected and know the signs….! Cheer up there is support to help you WIN in this new game you are playing! I’m here to help if you need it!
If you have a burning love or dating question or dilemma please email me at AskRenee@lovemechanics.com. I will do my best to help! Need a Dating Makeover or personal dating consulting call NOW at 310-827-1100! I can help you win in the game of Love!
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