Women Flirt with Me to make their Boyfriends Jealous

Dear Renee (Love Mechanic,)
I need your opinion. A number of times over my dating years, I have found that I devote too much time talking to women at parties or social events with women who are not interested in me. Sometimes, I have found that women have used me to make their boyfriends jealous.  Usually, this consists simply of talking to me and flirting with me (e.g. standing close to me, complementing me) with the significant other in the room at a large party. 

Sincethese women are not interested in me, after flirting for a time, they make their way back to their significant other, leaving me feeling a little used, and mystified. I assume women do this to gain some traction or advantage in a relationship.  In other cases, I find that I spend timing with women who are flirting with me who are unattached, but are not interested me and are flirting with me in order to gain some confidence or just to get a little temporary attention. 
What is the correct protocol to ensure someone is unattached AND interested before spending a significant amount of time with them at a social event? 
Mystified

Dear Mystified
This is a common experience and a bummer especially when are attracted to someone. It is time to stop acting like a victim and take charge!  At least women are talking to you and not rejecting you! I suggest coming up with a few questions to determine whether women are a viable target, before spending a significant amount of time speaking with them. Be direct and ask early on “are you here with anyone?” It’s that simple. Use your gut instincts and move on if a woman is not sending “Green light signals.” Many people feel uncomfortable and get frustrated because they wasted time!  You also could do a REFRAME and look at this situation from a few different perspectives.

1. You are just an approachable person. Only you know from the “Vibes” if she is just playing games…so have fun with it and then move on! By acting confident, calm and collected other women will be attracted to you and she may even introduce you to some women that are single.
2. Both sexes play games sometimes. Look at this situation as a game and play it. It is good practice.
3. This woman is obviously in need of attention and she may believe that by flirting in front of her man it will make him want her more. If she is trying to get a rise out of her man I’d say you’d be better off moving on to another woman and use her to make you become more of a magnet to other women. Other women are watching to see if you are taken so keep your eyes open.
4. Instead of feeling used be flattered, be cool and say something to make her think…like “I’m flattered that you are talking to me but I noticed you were here with another man. Are you trying to get your man jealous or are you just friends?  This is a nice way of letting her know how you feel and perhaps she will think twice next time of teasing her man. If she is just his friend she will speak up since she may be flirting with you
   

Perhaps you should just enjoy the moment and relax and move on sooner. Some people are just social and you are taking this too personally. Some women are just teases and enjoy the game of flirting. It is a numbers game and thank god at least you are getting some attention and eventually you’ll be landing a great girl! Work on your inner game and keep going out!

If this scenario keeps pushing some of your buttons perhaps you might want to attend my upcoming seminar on November 13th and build your confidence.  It is entitled  'The SMART MAN'S GUIDE TO DATING ATTRACTING & UNDERSTANDING WOMEN you can be assured  to increase your success with Women.

If you want to rapidly increase your odds and go where you know the women are single and looking to meet available men, join us for RAPID DATING and Rapid NETWORKING Events in various cities in Southern California! Get on our mailing list for more free advice and info about our various services and events to connect you in your community at www.RapidDating.com .also check out my Love Mechanics Podcasts on line with great advice for YOU!
Time is a wasting… So get in the driver’s seat of your Love Life.

Renee

Send in your love and dating questions to Renee@Lovemechanics.com. and I will do my best to respond! Need some personal coaching & motivation to liven up your social life or a complete makeover? Call me at 310-827-1100 to set up an appointment.

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