BAD AT SMALL TALK

Dear Renee
I have always wanted to attend your Dating and Networking events but I am not good at starting conversations or small talk. Any guidance on how I can improve my social skills?

Shy guy

Dear Shy Guy,
Lots of people are not great at small talk and chatting when you are at events or meeting strangers. That is the reason our events are successful since we make it easy for you to meet people in 5 minute sessions with no pressure. The biggest fear is rejection and these events are a rejection free zone. If you have been studying for years and never developed your social skills no worries you can start NOW!

Have you ever wondered…Why do people walk away and leave you standing alone?
It is time to look into your beliefs and see if you feel as if you are an interesting person to begin with! Ask yourself these questions to do a mini assessment of yourself to see if you are contributing to people blowing you off or wanting to connect with you. How you think and feel about yourself is a key to success with others. Be honest!

1. Do you think you are interesting to talk too?
2. What makes you unique? List your best qualities.
3. Have you ever listened to yourself?  Are you boring to listen to or have a monotone voice?
4. What do you use as your standard opening line?  Will your opening question keep this person conversing with you?
5. Are you good at asking questions? Do you ask questions that require a “yes” or “no” answer only?
6. Are you aware of the invisible “energy vibes” you send out when you are out connecting?
7. Are you put together when you go out to meet people? Do you have a sense of style that attracts people?
8. Do you have friends that will give you honest feedback?
9. Do you feel confident in yourself?
10. Would you consider getting honest feedback form a Dating coach/Consultant?

After being honest with yourself, practicing your skills and refining the way you view YOU, you must remember it takes time to build that confident feeling. Most people that have that “edge” have obviously been working at this game a bit longer than you. They also carry another key that you must add to mix…STAY UNATTACHED TO THE OUTCOME and have fun with people with NO Pressure. When others see the nervous or anxious vibe coming their way…they will run…FAST! If you are calm, cool and collected, they might just hang in there for you to be able to connect! It is often a combination of negative thinking vibes and fear of rejection that will keep you alone!

People want quick fixes and my book Love Mechanics has many answers to the hundreds of emails I receive about various topics related to dating and understanding rapport and connecting. In chapter 3 of my book there are at least a hundred questions for you to ask yourself to check how you feel about you! This is where the process begins…with YOU!

A private phone session also helps me detect the obstacles your experiencing and assist you over come them quickly! Call me if you need more support! I’m here to help with direct and supportive advice that has worked for hundreds of singles in the privacy of their own homes. Also be on the lookout for our live seminars and on line tele-classes on our site.

Have a love or dating question? Need a Make Over? Email:Renee@LoveMechanics.com. Still Single? Suddenly Single? Want to liven up your love life? Join us at Rapid Dating and Networking events, held in cities all over Southern California.  Call 310-827-1100 to RSVP and check out our new RapidDating.com site to get on our mailing list for events and Seminars. 

© 2008 All contents of these articles are the sole property of Rapid Dating LLC and cannot be duplicated or copied without permission of the author.

 

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