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Dear Renee (Love Mechanic),
I have a girlfriend that I am madly in love with. We've been going out for almost a year now, and we have a little problem.
Before we were dating, a girl came on to me and kissed me. I pushed her away and told her that I had a love interest and that this wasn't a good idea. She agreed and backed off.
I told this to my girlfriend somewhere around our nine-month anniversary and she said that it was alright and I apologized. Now two months later, she wants to split up because she says she can't trust me!
We're meant for each other and she knows that. I wrote her a letter that said that I was going to spend the rest of my life making this up to her and that I was going to do whatever it took to do so.
I need your help please. I can't lose her. She is a part of me. She changed my life forever and I can't imagine going on without her. Help me please.
Gabriel Farmer
Dear Gabriel,
I don't know how old you or your girlfriend are but she needs to grow up. All couples face trust issues in relationships and it sounds to me that she is insecure for no reason. Communication and honesty are the keys to a strong relationship and I'm sure this won't be the first trust issue you will face.
If she can't believe that you are faithful, she may have had someone hurt her in the past. It's time for her to let it go and start from a clean slate. From now on, have open communication about things in the moment and discuss issues as they occur. She needs to see that it is not necessary for you to make it up to her -- you did nothing wrong!
A woman kissed you when you weren't even in a relationship. It sounds to me like she needs to figure out why she feels threatened by a kiss you didn't initiate. How strong is your foundation? Regardless, if she is that insecure now, it won't get better with time. Jealousy is stimulated by lack of self-esteem or trust issues from the past. I know you love her but this type of insecurity will ruin the true reason you are together: to be partners in life and build a relationship that can't be shaken by another woman being attracted to you.
Renee
If you have a burning love or dating question or dilemma please email me at AskRenee@lovemechanics.com. I will do my best to help! Need a Dating Makeover or personal dating consulting call NOW at 310-827-1100! I can help you win in the game of Love!
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