Dear Renee (Love Mechanics),

I often go out with my friends to meet women and one of my buddies always hits on the girl I try to pick up. Any thoughts about your friend moving in for the kill with your new female prospect?

Thanks,
Friends for life? 

Dear Freinds for life,

First of all, you should be flattered; you must be the one in your group who is the woman magnet or the leader.

It's likely that guys enjoy being around you to receive the benefit of your leftovers, so to speak. Frankly, it's a numbers game and ultimately the woman's final choice. The attraction phase of dating is an open field for all as far as I am concerned, yet we all must be mindful of the effect it could have on a friendship.

Are there rules or proper etiquette in this type of scenario? Many times you can be flirting with someone and then a friend appears on the scene and suddenly your new "interest" has a change of heart... after being hit on by your friend. Should you be mad at your friend when the woman you were connecting with changes her focus of attention? It can be a challenge to a friendship unless there is some clear communication and consideration.

On either side of the fence it is uncomfortable. One, for the friend who is seemingly being passed over -- in this case, you. Two, for the other person who thought they liked you then found your friend more appealing. Third, for the friend who feels connected to the person you met first. Let go of your ego and be conscious of the vibes that are flowing in the moment. Just because you are interested in someone doesn't mean you own her or that she is attracted to you in the same way. Some women will be nice to you to meet your friends. Just go with the flow and move on if the signals venture into another direction. That's life!

All is fair in love and war, but if it's bothering you to the point where you are resenting your friend, tell your friend how you feel. Maybe he isn't conscious of his actions, or maybe he doesn't see the harm because he figures that you can get any babe you want. Be honest, and hopefully he will respect your territory.

Renee

If you have a burning love or dating question or dilemma please email me at AskRenee@lovemechanics.com. I will do my best to help! Need a Dating Makeover or personal dating consulting call NOW at 310-827-1100! I can help you win in the game of Love!

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