Dear Renee (Love Mechanic),

I've spent two years waiting for a miracle... now, I just want to know if I have a shot at creating one or if I should just move on. Two years ago, I broke up with a woman whom I adored. Why, you might ask? It's simple; I was extremely afraid of commitment and afraid to make a mistake with the wrong woman. The day we broke up, I told her she was still the only woman I've ever loved, but that I needed to head out on my own.

I regret letting her go. I've been paying for that night ever since. She absolutely will not have anything to do with me. She refuses to talk to me or answer my messages. She even went so far as to change her phone number and e-mail address. All my friends tell me to move on and that she isn't worth it, but I am very much in love with her and I know I'm responsible for this situation. I broke her heart with my stupidity and she doesn't trust me anymore.

Anyway, I've been waiting and hoping that time would heal any wounds and that I could, somehow, rekindle our friendship first, and see where it leads. She won't even let me get a foot in the door. We don't live near each other so "running into her unexpectedly" would be too transparent.

Renee, if you told me that it would take 10 years of trying, but that she would eventually be receptive to me, I would say it was 10 years well spent. Is there something I can do that might slowly convince her to let me back into her life?

Willing to try anything...

Dear Willing,

You sound very upset and need to realize that you need to forgive yourself before you can go forward in life. You weren't ready to commit to her two years ago and you were honest about your feelings. Now she is being honest by making it clear that she isn't interested in trying again. Accept the truth, forgive yourself and move forward.

Two years is a long time to have been away from someone that you hurt; how can you expect her to even want to open up again? She is obviously not interested and you need to accept this fact.

If you're still desperate to give it one last shot (or get closure), however, I suggest that you write her a letter in which you express your feelings, admit your regret, and request that the two of you get together to talk. If you don't receive a response, then please move on.

Obsessing over the past happens to many people and, believe me, it is not worth it. Live in the now and allow yourself to grieve for what's in the past. You will discover that you will grow from this experience depending on how you perceive it.

Life is flying by quickly... let her go and be free to love again.

Renee

If you have a burning love or dating question or dilemma please email me at AskRenee@lovemechanics.com. I will do my best to help! Need a Dating Makeover or personal dating consulting call NOW at 310-827-1100! I can help you win in the game of Love!

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